Get your seat and your writing pad. I have something to talk to you about today. You know, I have watched you over the time and have realized your need to hear this from your big sister. Big sister has the obligation to help you get through the thick and also advice you on how to avoid her mistakes.
Now write as I talk but most importantly, carve them on the tablet of your heart.
- There is nothing special about being on big girls gang. It is so common for you to feel you have grown, especially when you look up yourself in the mirror and see those changes that have taken place in various parts of your body. There will be temptations to be like the other girls but don’t let that worry you. I heard your friends tell you all the benefits, but listen to big sister, those benefits are illusionary if you jumped steps.
- You have a mind of your own. Don’t let anyone deceive you into what isn’t good for you. Don’t let them tell you “you are just a child, you don’t have the ability to reason”. I am not asking you to take certain decisions without the help of reasonable and responsible older people but I am asking you not to allow anyone pressure you on issues that are not right for you or take advantage of you being a teenager.
- What your friends do are not always the right thing. Sometimes, they make you believe you are missing so much for not doing certain things they do. Listen, they lied. What is morally right should be your priority. Don’t let your friends set wrong standards for you.
- You don’t need to have a boyfriend when you are not ready. I understand you may have pressure from guys, especially with the kind of beauty you posses. I have heard your friend tell you how you are not a complete woman if you didn’t have a boyfriend. I know you are human with emotions but learn to put them under control until you can handle the responsibility that comes with relationships. Dear teenager, they lied again when they told you that boys give you life essence. Don’t let them push you like they tried to push me. Listen, don’t let them use certain cliches to initiate you into unwanted burden.
- You don’t need a boy to survive. My baby, listen, you have equal hands, fingers, and brain Cells like that boy close to you. Don’t listen to lazy girls who exploit or depend on innocent guys to survive. Be a responsible lady, take care of yourself, Pay your bills when you can, learn to save and manage money, be intentional about finances and don’t forget to see that guy as a fellow human and not some automated money making machine, that’s if you don’t want to become an object of self satisfaction and slave.
- Virginity is not timidity. Don’t let them deceive you into believing that strong rods of iron may be used to deflower you when marry. When they tell you, you wouldn’t be able to give birth on your own, you won’t be able to satisfy your husband after marriage and when you are married, you won’t be able give birth at all, don’t mind them, they lied once again.
- Dear sister, I understand your breasts have grown so well, they are not meant to feed your area boys. They are meant to be part of your private parts, cover them well. Preserve them them till you are free to use them to fulfill the purpose they were given to you for.
- When you grow taller than your elders, it is not a yardstick to become disrespectful to them. Respect everyone and most importantly, your elders. You lose nothing when you greet an elder you are obviously taller and bigger than. In fact, you have everything to gain when you do. Honour your father and your mother, that it may go well with you and you will live long on earth and prosper. Don’t imitate young girls who abuse elders.
- Take your studies seriously. You are not disadvantaged for being female. You can be everything great which you have set your heart to achieve, don’t set wrong priorities. Aim high and work hard, the sky would be just a stepping stone.
- Be courageous. You don’t know the much you can achieve by just being courageous. Wait! I was once locked in a room by a man I considered my Uncle in church, when I was just 12, he wanted to defile me but I was courageous, though deeply fearful, yet I looked him straight up and told him “if you dare touch me or force me to your bed, I wouldn’t only tell my parents but I will also call the police on you.” I don’t know where the courage to speak came from but I know he was fixed at the point he was until I stormed out of his room and started off to school again. I was an introvert but I was courageous at the time. The second time I came face to face with such situation, I felt crying and begging could save me, if not for God, it could have happened. Be courageous and wise.
- Listen, don’t let anyone tempt you with what your parents, you and close family members can’t afford. Whatever you or them could not afford at that time is actually not meant for you at that time. Look, what I am saying is this, don’t cut corners to look like your friends, don’t ever feel intimidated by their ways of life. I tell you, everything you could not afford now, you will afford better when the time is right.
- Everyone should not be your acquaintance. This was my mistake and I was saved by grace. Anyone you can’t meet their material life standard, anyone who doesn’t believe in morality should not be your friend, anyone you compete to wear exactly what they wear, should not be your friend. You know why? They may compel you to derail by forcing yourself to step up their level. Accept good challenges and keep improving yourself.
- There is no age at which you could begin to relate with your maker. God is God for both old and young. Listen, the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. If you desire wisdom, embrace him. He is always willing and able to help you. Just talk to him about your needs. When you are pushed to the walls, fall back on him and He will rescue you. Trust him with all your heart and He will direct your path. Don’t let them lie to you again “Enjoy your youth and serve God when you are old enough” is a lie from the devil. You are not sure of tomorrow which is the reason you should serve God today. Be your best and see the best.
I am still your big sister. Let me know what you think. Reach out to me via firstname.lastname@example.org.
I will be waiting.